Print This Post Print This Post

Important Scientific Discovery Announced!

Written by Wellness Club on March 20, 2008 – 5:25 pm -

As you know, Dr. Myatt and her research team strive to be constantly on the cutting edge of science, so that we can provide the very latest and most up-to-date information to our patients and readers. As a consequence we are pleased to share the following important scientific breakthrough with you:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium (Gv)- it has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause an action that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element that radiates the same energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Print This Post Print This Post
SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Posted in Funnies | No Comments »

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Disclaimer: These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. No information on this website is intended as personal medical advice and should not take the place of a doctor's care.