We recently looked at Gender Differences and Rates of Depression.
We continue that scholarly look at this important subject with another oft-used tool of psychoanalysis in the hopes of generating a deeper understanding of the differences between men and women with a view to how we might learn to bridge what are sometimes vast chasms of understanding and thus to improve communications between the sexes.
Psychoanalysts will often have their subjects keep detailed diaries of the events of their day and how those events shape the thoughts and feelings of the subject. This is often useful when conducting, for example, couples counseling.
Here is a look at the his and hers diaries of one such couple, each detailing the events of the same day – you may find the differences in thought and emotion illuminating:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m an emotional wreck right now.
Boat wouldn’t start. Can’t figure out why…
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