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Terminally Paraprosdokian

Posted By Wellness Club On June 29, 2011 @ 4:35 pm In Funnies | Comments Disabled

A third and final installment in this look at paraprosdokians:

 

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

  • Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  • There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
  • I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon…. and a shot of tequila.
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
  • You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  • Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Terminally Paraprosdokian
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