This cautionary tale was sent to us by a friend recently, and brought some smiles of remembrance. There are some very good reasons why doctors and nurses are so compulsive about hand-washing and so very careful about never placing their unwashed hands anywhere near their faces! I have spent many, many a shift in nurseries and pediatric wards holding and handling these wonderful creatures who can be so full of little surprises…

Cheers!
Nurse Mark

I Love Mustard.

(This is said to be a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard!

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon.”

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